Friday, 10 May 2013

Aaayup...Canadian speak for being chalk full of emotion.

Moi, you just got married!!!


You must have tons of things to write about in your blog??!


Can't wait!!!!



.....soooooo, what are you going to write about first?



I know, how about  all the crazy family requests and millions of questions and wedding demands they must have?

Start of crazy family questions and demands.

Mother to Moi- What time do you want us there?
Moi to Mother- 6:30
Mother to Moi- ok

End of crazy family questions and demands.

Oh, okay. Well, then all the zillions of details you had to handle for those couple of days before the wedding.

Start of zillion of details to handle

Moi to Chinese restaurant- I'll have MooGooGuy pan, five egg rolls, Cantonese chow mein..oh, just sec.
Hey, wedding planner, florist, decorator and photographer did you want anything to eat?
No? Too busy doing everything for me? Cool.
..and some Schezwuan noodle., just for one person.

End of zillion of details to handle.

Really? Well, the prep part of the day of the wedding is always so stressful. The term for Bridezilla wasn't coined as a title for Godzilla part 7.

Start of stressful wedding prep

Pick up Chai Latte, notice the Art Gallery is open,  roam around there for an hour, take a nap.

End of stressful wedding prep.
(PS Would totally see that movie by the way. Wonder what kind of dress it would wear, a-line would probably suit her shape.)
You didn't actually expect to see me in my dress before the wedding?
I'm a lady, y'all.
By the way what's your address and its not because I want to come and stomp you later.
Nopenopenope, a lady wouldn't do that.

You must have saved all the emotion for the big walk down the aisle, must have gotten a little worked up at some point, didn't you? The music begins, everyone stands , looking at you with misty eyes when all you see is your groom beaming with pride as you slowly walk down the aisle.
Surely that must have made you a little bit verklempt?

Is having to pee considered an emotional response? There was definitely liquid in the old eyeballs as I had to pee so bad that my eyes were floating. 
Other people cry, I threaten the dryness of my granny panties.
Desperation at having to pee is an emotion.

Jazus chr-

Now the ceremony..

Finally, I knew somewh-

The Frenchmen's drunk buddy in the back was yelling out 'At a boy Cookie!' every two minutes. Then his other buddy was telling him to 'Shut the hell up!' in a whisper Deep Throat would have been proud of. Anger is an emotion.

That's not the kind of emo-

Then when we were saying our vows I was a little bit choked up until the justice of the peace said the line about 'for richer or poorer'. I got her to repeat that one as I didn't think we were supposed to lie in the ceremony but since I said it with a wink it should hold up in a court of law. Laughter is an emotion.
(Not that we will ever need one , my dear Frenchmen, you're my favourite husband far..mmwaah)

But Moi, I meant -

It made the drunk guy stop yelling  'At a boy Cookie!'...of course then he started yelling 'RunCookieRun'. Drunken panic is an another emotion.


OH, how about when the wedding coordinator was resewing the material over my boob as the boning (as it was only one should I say a 'boner'?)was poking me and just when she was biting the thread off with her teeth  right against the boobage material my eldest offspring walked in and promptly jumped back out again. Utter embarrassment is an emotion. 

Never mind, I give up.

Hey, people gave us lots of money as gifts so we appreciated that.
That's a normal emotion, appreciation.

Actually, it kind of is. Good for you, Moi. I think you finally realise what a wedding is all ab-

Didn't really appreciate all the paper cuts in those hard to put a band aid on it places that we got after going all bedonkadonk on top of the money though.

Good night Moi.

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