Friday, 23 March 2012

Mistress Heather....umm,nope.

If you came hoping for a Mistress Heather dominatrix sort of blog, I'm sorry to say your in the wrong spot.
So put away the dog collar and lube sunshine 'cause you ain't getting 'that' here.
What's that?
You're already started?
Well here is a tissue and a picture of Beiber dressed up like your mother, so get in the corner and go to town.
While the councilman/minister is in the corner 'repenting' I'll let the rest of you know what this blog is about.
Wait, wait.. I got it.
You know how sometimes you can't sleep at night and you suddenly find yourself watching french soft porn at 3 am?
Stoooopp!! You know you've done it so let's move on.
You usually find yourself doing 3 things.
1. In the first few seconds after 'accidentally' flipping onto the channel, you dart your creepy( yes, creepy) little eyes around to make sure you're alone.
2. Then you do the nice thought that you're conditioned to do,"oh, that poor girl, I wonder what her childhood was like to make her ....hmm, I wonder were she got those shoes?"
3.Then you think," ya know, that particular position would make an excellent argument for the whole hardware floors vs carpet debate, I wonder if Empire floors knows about this?".
That is what I'm about, my mind is always in the '3 am and can't sleep' mode.
Where most people have a filter aka decency, mine disappeared a while back.
(I blame the erosion of the ozone layer and religion for it's disappearance because...unh, not sure why but it seems to work for all the other lazy odd minded people.)
So welcome!


  1. Can't wait. While I do, the TV is on...

  2. OMG, this is great. thanks for psoting this Patti.