Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Pretty sure I woke up to the cat in my ear saying 'Don't move, trust me it will hurt!' Sadly enough the cat talking to me wasn't the scary part.

I signed up for Bootcamp last weekend and for some reason I was very excited.  
I arrived at sign up day like the first day of high school. 
But first I spent an hour getting ready to make myself look like I've spent no time at all getting ready.
Then I arrived a couple of minutes early but parked far away so no one knows that I'm a big loser who has nothing else to do. 
Then I started to  rethink that strategy while hiding in my car eating the piece of Mars bar I found under the seat, 'Maybe I should rush in like "I have WAY better things to do with my uber importante- 

(For some reason when I lie, I start pulling every word in a different language into the conversation, you have now seen 50% of them)

- time than this but I'm here now so let's get this show on the road!"
Hmm, they might figure out I'm fibbing a bit as I have forgotten to take off my Elmo slippers. Dang it!

"Are you here to sign up for Bootcamp?', asks a perfectly lovely girl.
"No, I'm just looking. Do you have ankle boots in a size 8.5?', says nervous smart arse girl.
Deafening silence
 (Turns out you lose your sense of humor when you are a size 2, may have to rethink this.)

'Just fill out this 2 page form and make sure to fill out everything'
Inner brain -Duh, I'm not 6 lady, I've filled out forms before.
After having been passed back said form 4 times to fill out missed questions have decided to quiet inner snarky brain.

'Okay, now we are going to take your measurements.'
Now I know these are the 'before' measurements and anyone with a normal brain would let it all 'hang out' ala Jabba the Hut when getting this done.
Note I said 'normal'.

Eek! She touched my stomach, SUCK IN!
Eek! She touched my butt, CLENCH!
Eek! She touched my thigh...hey, that kind of feels goo.. anyhoo, measuring done.

Likewise with the before picture.
I was all Jessica Rabbiting the modeling shoot.
'Um Miss, excuse me? We just want one profile shot, so you can take your leg off of Mr. Zakem as he's our janitor and not our male model.'

So aside from that I went home to get ready for the actual first work out the next day.
Woohoo, ready to wow everyone with my inner cardio Goddess!~

Mel at Bootcamp 

Inner brain talking - Holy crap, can't believe I did it. I'm sweating like a pig, kind of feel nauseous but I did it! Now where's my water bottle and outdoor shoe...wait, the dictator/instructor is saying something

"Okay, so you've all picked out your spots so let's start the warm up!"

Inner brain again- Yes, moron, walking from the door to the other side of the room to set down your water bottle does not constitute a work out.

I might be in trouble.

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